“I’m a comedian,” I answered. He took his time browsing and examining everything I had out for... My 11-year-old takes his homework seriously. Frustrated,... A friend was due to give birth around the same time that her oldest daughter was due to give birth to her first baby. “We’re sorry, ma’am. Then, an hour late, he came running in, red-faced and breathless. I realized that one day when my kitten was running around my bedroom, climbing onto shelves and into the dresser as I was getting ready for work. His wife could commiserate. As I headed out the door, I told the waitress what had happened. “But I think it began with an s.” “Was it Caesar’s?”. With all of the subreddits available it can be daunting to know where to start, but we've got you covered! A coworker once showed up to the office in a white wedding dress with a crinoline, beading—the works. My three-year-old grandson asked his mother whether his younger brother used to be in her stomach. BuzzFeed Staff When we didn't leave at the normal time, she started whining at me. You won't find any football memes in the Superb Owl subreddit, but you will find some of the coolest owl pictures, stories, videos, and memes on the web. Here are a few of our favorite answers. “Did you eat him?”. … My husband and I spent a rare day with our youngest grandson Malakai, as they live 350 miles away. Each image is uploaded by the person in the picture (unless they were given explicit permission to share it). His friend takes a sip from his beer, sets it down on the bar, turns to his friend, and slurs, “That’s a mirror.”. ET “We had a singing group the other day that performed without instruments,” he said. While reviewing future, past, and present tenses with my English class, I posed this question: “‘I am beautiful’ is what tense?” One student raised... A customer walked into the post office wanting to mail a package. “Sure. We recommend our users to update the browser. She agreed. I had a chance encounter with a pastor who told me about a wonderful event held at his church. Nothing I said helped. The new busboy was just 16, and because it was his first job, we were all impressed with how well he had done on his first day. and Photobombed. One little girl answered, “Birthdays!”, If I ever voiced disapproval of a photo of myself, my mother always had a ready reply: “Want a better picture? Reddit is a website that calls itself "the front page of the internet," and it truly does contain a little something for everyone. Soon, it was my turn to boast that, in spite... My mother and I suffered through an overlong, confusing movie at an art theater. What did I do?” —Peggy Klasse. One day, a newly appointed bright-looking girl came to the register and said loudly, "Turn me on!". “I never know at which cornfield to turn when we come to visit you.”. I held a garage sale with my little blond cairn terrier for company. Finally, I got on the intercom and said softly but firmly, “All right, Johnny, it’s time to go to sleep now.” There was quiet in the room, and then he said, “OK, God, I will.” I didn’t hear a peep from him until morning. Here are twenty excellent, boredom-busting subreddits that you can subscribe to right now to liven up your front page. Man Gets Arrested For Creeping This Lady Out on a Bus. I had a chance encounter with a pastor who told me about a wonderful event held at his church. Whenever a cashier started work, I was paged to open... Bad Jokes That You Can’t Help but Laugh At, Funny Photos That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud, Cheesy Pick-Up Lines Guaranteed to Get a Laugh, The Absolute Best Funny Movies of All Time, Weird Facts You Never Knew About Laughter, Work Cartoons to Help You Get Through the Week, Clever Wedding Jokes Perfect for Any Speech, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), Do Not Sell My Personal Information – CA Residents. I called the company and asked where my Maid Marian costume was. A man approaches the counter; his shirt, hat, backpack, tattoos, and body odor all proudly proclaim his affection for marijuana. 2020 Election; We're Not Gonna Know Anything For Hours, So Here Are Some Funny Fake Electoral Maps People Are Making On Twitter "An electoral map if Biden wins every state containing area codes where Ludacris claimed to have hoes." But one day while he was in school, his fish died, so I flushed it down the toilet. When my nephew, Victor, was five, I took him to a local stable for a pony ride. Reply. I was describing my job as an engineer to some middle schoolers when I mentioned that “one of my colleagues and I designed a medical instrument for measuring human muscle tone.” Later, I added, “another colleague and I designed a system to allow merchants to print coupons at the cash register.” Thinking that all this technical talk was confusing, I asked if there were any questions. Mom immediately started telling her how much she liked no longer working and how the saleswoman would enjoy it too. Some people … These include subreddits "WTF", "funny", and "AskReddit". This "porn" is 100% SFW (Safe for work) because it contains nothing but pure, stunning vistas found in nature. Apparently we were not the only dissatisfied patrons. “Oh!” I shouted. So much so that they’re using humor to cope with just how bad things got. Is funny like freid rice. “I’m looking forward to that!” —Mona Randem. At an event famous for giving out awards in bizarre categories, the emcee enthusiastically announces, “The next prize will go to the laziest person in the audience. By … As the truth sank in, Ian grew alarmed: “Lucky fell out of a tree?” —Laurie Navin. Go to this page and click create app or create another appbutton at the bottom left. “We don’t have an ad in the paper today,” I told her. Some of them are deep, but most of them are just musings that you might find to be surprisingly relatable. Your accounts lets you Digg (upvote) stories, save stories to revisit later, and more. A coworker was telling us all about her trip to Las Vegas. Thanks for sharing! Soon, it was my turn to boast that, in spite of being a newbie, I’d already managed to get to level 11. I made his initials with glitter paint, green glitter paint. Visiting Annapolis, I noticed several plebes on their hands and knees holding pencils and clipboards. Reddit rolled out its multireddit feature, the site's biggest change to its front page in years, in 2013. I called the company and asked where my Maid Marian costume was. “The straw could go up your nose.”. The taxi driver will have a fun story to tell his family after his shift! “But don’t worry,” I said with a grin. I asked why. There was a metal glider on the path in the orchard. Here is a look at some of the most bizarre stories of the year. The sub does not allow anything truly shocking and there's no gore allowed here. A collection of the funniest stories and jokes on various topics: kids jokes, dirty jokes, adult jokes, blond jokes, short jokes etc. VERY funny! During a high school visit to France, I stayed with a French family. The kids had an after-school activity so I needed to pick them up an hour later than usual. After my kids bragged about what levels they’d attained in a video game, I decided to give it a try. One day, my physician father treated himself to a plate of raw oysters and offered to share them with me. One night, I was unsure what the meat on my dinner plate was, so I pointed to... After my kids bragged about what levels they’d attained in a video game, I decided to give it a try. She has published three web humor books and six calendars, including You Had One Job! People That Have Willingly Engaged in Incest Share Their Stories August 3, 2020 Leave a comment. See more ideas about funny stories, funny, funny memes. When our manager asked why she’d worn her wedding dress to the... After my beloved dog Lucky passed away, my daughter tried to explain to her four-year-old son what had happened in terms he might understand. After a full examination, the doctor cocked his head... A few of us were discussing the perils of drinking and driving when my five-year-old granddaughter threw in her two cents. Completely confounded, I muttered, “I’d love to meet the genius who designed this mess.” With that, my passenger extended his hand in my direction and said, “Well, today is your lucky day. Sarah Knieser . As a kid, I was at a sleepover, and I watched my friend stuff the bedsheet into her mouth, pull it out, and say, “That was good, Mom; what’s for... Our son was upset that his baseball coach yelled whenever he or a teammate made a mistake. “Oh,” she said. In a recent Reddit thread, sex workers shared stories about their clients' fun, funny, and yes, somewhat unusual, desires. Teaching is not for sensitive souls. Our son was upset that his baseball coach yelled whenever he or a teammate made a mistake. With the multireddits, users see top stories from a collection of subreddits. A customer walked into my clothing shop and asked to see the pants that were advertised in the paper that day. I really enjoyed these cute stories. “Yes,” she said. “The train went off the rails,” he said. One night, I was at the nurses’ station when I heard a little boy in his room talking. My job as a facilities maintenance engineer required a wide range of skills. said Ivan. Check out this subreddit for well-placed vandalism you'll wish you'd thought to do first. If looking at gorgeous photos from some of the most breathtaking and remote places on the planet is your thing, you must subscribe to this sub. Did you learn something cool today? The Russian couple's sex life was terrible, so they were quite excited when Moscow's first sex store opened up across the street. "Olga, why don't you go out and buy some of that feminine deodorant spray I've read about?" As the dentist labored over my teeth, he tried to make small talk. His sentence: “Have you heard of the version Mary?”. She then reassured him by adding, “Now, if you do everything I’ve told you, you won’t be with us for long.”. Try as he might, he just could not remember her first name. This is a subreddit for all of life's most WTF moments. See how your stories compare with these with these funny short stories you can share with the whole family. So I confidently replied “Ragú!” and walked out of the store. Satish Lingangouda Patil July 8, 2020, 1:36 am. “That’s Mum’s side.”. “How much for the dog?”. Nanda Doneparthy September 2, 2020, 11:15 pm. “We’re sorry, ma’am. You can change your subscriptions Mom admitted she didn’t have anything particular in mind, and the pair started chatting. Living in rural Minnesota, I find driving through crowded Minneapolis difficult. Who else wants to go there right this instant?! If you enjoy memes about topics like You Had One Job, terrible font choices, and bad architectural designs, this subreddit will make you laugh until your sides hurt! I was trapped in an elevator for 30 minutes before the doors finally opened. Prior to our camping trip, I had been explaining to him the importance of washing his hands and flushing the toilet. “I wear this for Mommy so she can show Daddy when he gets home.” —James Avery. He excitedly told them that he saw grownups riding naked! This subreddit is dedicated to sharing newly-learned knowledge. I loved the dress that I bought at a flea market. “Oh!” I shouted. I was admiring my aunt’s necklace when she surprised me by announcing, “I’m leaving it to you in my will.” I was overjoyed, perhaps too much. My daughter was anxious to do some landscaping at her new home, but then she called up sounding discouraged. I must have sounded rushed, because the woman on the phone said, “Am I keeping you from something?”, I replied, “I have to leave for tai chi.”, “Oh,” she said, sounding intrigued. He watched and fed it faithfully, morning and night. At the doctor’s office, a 20-something man was trying to make an appointment for a Mrs. Brown. Subscribing to subreddits is like eating potato chips - once you start, you can't stop. So I have decided to share what I've heard and hope you enjoy these stories and anecdotes just as much as I do. On the morning my friend went... Our eight-year-old daughter: “Are you saying that George Washington didn’t invent the toilet?”, Turning to me with some urgency, my sleeping husband stated, “I have to do the cat’s taxes!”, My husband was tossing and turning in bed, so I asked whether he was all right. Heck, there's a whole subreddit devoted to gifs of baby elephants. Reddit is a network of communities based on people's interests. As a head cashier in a departmental store, I had to open and close the cash registers of the cashiers. After a while, I asked, “Why are you crying so much?”Arching his back, he shouted, “I wanted to flush!”, I was on a business call when I realized I was late for a class at the gym. We’ll send your costume tomorrow,” the representative said. When I described it to a coworker as “I’m a jack of all trades, master of none,” I was amused, yet slightly offended, when she offered a less than complimentary interpretation from her native Cantonese: “Equipped with knives all over, yet none are very sharp.”. Suffering from an unsightly scaly rash, my friend Denise made an appointment with a dermatologist who happened to be very attractive. A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. “Now I just wish you could.” —Megs Brunner. Find communities you're interested in, and become part of an online community! Save this to your funny stories collection so you can tell your friends on a road trip! “No, sorry, I’m not.” “Are you sure? As the customs agent handed my passport back to me, she cheerily welcomed me home by declaring, “Back to reality for you!”. Sports Home IPL 2020 News "Put Him In His Place": Lungi Ngidi, Faf Du Plessis See The Funny Side Of MS Dhoni's "Definitely Not" Reply Story Progress Back to home A Few More Short Comedy Stories. Funny story that terrified my cab driver as text. “You know, I always used to wish I could whistle,” he said. A sign on the front porch gave me my answer: “It’s an Uncle!”. The first thing I did when I heard our great-granddaughter was born was to text my son: “You are a great uncle!” He texted me back immediately: “Thank you. These pics are always awesome, and the images found in this subreddit will not disappoint. wowwww ths is so lovely of you people. 02/21/2020 08:14 am ET. After some loud moans,... My job as a facilities maintenance engineer required a wide range of skills. This sub is not what it seems. See how your stories compare with these with these funny short stories you can share with the whole family. “It’s just something coaches do,” I said. Oh, I stepped in it!” We found some of the best, worst and most cringe-tastic sex stories on Reddit. He was very impressed that the stable hands were riding without a saddle. Now thoroughly deflated, he asked, “Does that mean I’m not 18?” —David Hansen. One of my wife’s third graders was wearing a Fitbit watch, which prompted my wife to ask, “Are you tracking your steps?” “No,” said the little girl. No stories of any kind.". “It’s just something coaches do,” I said. Flavors. Spotted on a business marquee in Tacoma, Washington: MY BOSS TOLD ME TO CHANGE THE SIGN, SO I DID. He took his time browsing and examining everything I had out for sale. We sat on that metal glider with our feet in the seat for a good little while, but when we got up, we found a shocking surprise. I was working from home, interviewing a famous neurologist for an article, when my three-year-old announced she had to go potty and waddled into the bathroom. 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